When two men working for a marketing company placed textbook-sized electronic devices consisting of batteries, wires, circuit boards, and LEDs in the pattern of a cartoon character on several locations in Boston's transportation infrastructure, such as the bottoms of rail and road bridges, was it a bomb hoax?
No.
The guys were just doing their job. It might have been illegal, but in small ways – you can't just post signs up wherever you want to. It may have been imprudent – monkeying around on bridges is pretty stupid. It may even have been a fundamentally bad idea – it had a possibility of misinterpretation, and, after all, the cartoon character was making an obscene gesture.
But at the time those two guys put the devices on the bridges, they weren’t thinking "Gee, maybe everybody will think these are bombs, and the police will come and everything." They were thinking something more along the lines of "300 bucks for this? Sweet! Heh heh, look at the Mooninite giving everyone the fingah."
That doesn't make a bomb hoax. What does?
Does it become a bomb hoax at 7:50 AM, when somebody calls the MBTA transit police to report a suspicious device under Interstate 93 at Sullivan Station, and they shut down part of the Orange Line, making thousands of people late for work?
No. That's just a misunderstanding.
Does it become a bomb hoax at 8:15, when the State Police arrive, or at 8:55, when the State Police bomb squad arrives? Or at 9:00, when the Boston Police bomb squad arrives? Does it become a bomb hoax at 9:30, when I-93 and adjacent roadways are closed? Does it become a bomb hoax when the bomb squad notes that the device has what appears to be a duct tape-wrapped package with a wire running into it and a power source, which would be needed to detonate a bomb? How about at 10:30, when State Police and MBTA bomb technicians destroy the device, and find it's just a bunch of circuit cards, some batteries and LEDs? Or at 10:15, when the roads are reopened, and everybody goes on their business?
No. See, it blew over. No blood, no foul.
Does it become a bomb hoax at 12:45, when Boston police bomb squad gets a call for a second device? No. At 1:02, when Boston police get a call from the New England Medical Center, informing them that a device resembling a pipe bomb has been found in a drawer?
Hold on a sec, what's that? Made to look like a pipe bomb? That does sound like a bomb hoax... But that didn't have anything to do with those two guys. Somebody else was doing a bomb hoax, go figure, on the same day, a disgruntled former employee of the hospital. So they evacuated part of the hospital, and blew up the fake pipe bomb. Was it a bomb hoax by those two marketing guys?
No. Not their hoax.
How about 1:11, when the State Police ask for bomb squad assistance with devices found under the Longfellow Bridge? One of them was made to look like a pipe bomb, just like the device found at NEMC. The other was one of the cartoony things. Was it a bomb hoax at 1:11? Okay, yes, it was a bomb hoax by the pipe bomb guy, but how about the marketing guys?
No. A little confusion here, but maybe we're still all right.
And when the Boston Police receive four more calls around 1:00, alerting them to suspicious devices at nine different locations, including the BU Bridge, the McGrath, Harvard Ave in Brighton, Stuart and Columbus and Washington and Water Streets? Is that a bomb hoax?
Maybe not? They hope?
How about at 1:25, when somebody from the advertising company called one of those guys and said to keep quiet about the matter? When that marketing guy emailed his friends because he was terrified by what was going on? When he was expecting the company to handle it, and they weren't handling it? When, as a response, he talked to his friends, but didn't tell the police or anybody in a position of authority, but just kept quiet because the guy who paid him 300 bucks told him to?
Yes. Now it's a bomb hoax.
From 1:25 forward, as those two marketers watch the police rush to find all the other suspicious devices – shaped like pipe bombs or shaped like mooninites – attached to the city's infrastructure, as roads and subways are shut down and more police and agencies are shut down, and as those two guys do nothing but watch TV and freak out, yeah, this has become a bomb hoax, perpetrated by them and the marketing company. They know they aren't real bombs. The marketing company knows they aren't real bombs. But they decide to let the police think they are, because they think it's in their interests. They still didn't get their 300 bucks, maybe. Somebody else is going to say something, right? Something like...
This is a hoax.
At 2:00 PM, The police suspended Red Line MBTA traffic, which passes over the Longfellow bridge, because of the pipe bomb, and traffic was limited to one lane. At 2:10, Storrow Drive East is closed. And the police were still rushing to the other locations, where there could have been more pipe bombs or just more cartoons. The marketing guys sit there and watch TV as the police go to the BU Bridge, to Stuart Street at Columbus Avenue, to Harvard Avenue in Brighton, to the McCarthy Overpass on the O'Brien in Somerville, to Mem Drive and Mass Ave in Cambridge. They know what's there already. Silly cartoon characters. But they let the police run around, and they do nothing.
This is a hoax.
At 2:30, after the pipe bomb and the cartoon character are removed from the Longfellow Bridge, Storrow and the Red Line reopen. Around this time, a Boston police analyst recognizes the cartoon character, and the police begin to suspect a publicity stunt. Bomb sniffing dogs are deployed to City Hall.
To respond to a hoax.
At 3:30, a device is found at the Mass Ave bridge by Mem Drive. It's one of those cartoon things, but for all they know this one is a bomb. All of this is unfolding on TV, and those marketing guys are freaking out – but still doing nothing. All the TV stations are showing the bomb scare footage, including CNN. Around that time, the marketing company calls the Cartoon Network – not the police. At 3:45, CNN coyly says the objects resemble a character from the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," but that's it. So the police are still running around, worried about more possible bombs.
Because of a hoax.
At 4:25, the Police Commissioner says they've responded to nine locations. And nobody has yet fessed up. For hours, the two marketing guys, the marketing company, and Turner Broadcasting execs have watched the police run around to nine locations, deploy dogs and bomb squads, and all sorts of personnel and hardware, and they have known what was going on. And they've said nothing.
They have perpetrated a hoax.
At 4:30 PM, Turner Broadcasting finally fesses up. Boston Police verify Turner's assertion at 4:51. Police continue to find devices. At 6:22, Menino issues a press release, saying he intends to take legal action.
Because there was a bomb hoax in Boston.
Now, those two marketing guys have been arrested, have been released on bond, and will likely be indicted. One of them may end up being deported. And they have stood in front of the courthouse and made funny jokes about hairstyles.
Well, there's some funny hairstyles in Walpole, and those guys are about to have the opportunity to learn more about them.
Because this may have started out as a prank of a marketing campaign. But from the time they knew that the police were treating these objects as possible bombs, and yet they kept their mouths shut and let it go on, they were perpetrators of a bomb hoax. And that is illegal for good reason.
And Menino is no moron. He know if he lets these guys walk, some idiot high school kid is going to put up the next "it's not really a fake bomb, it's just a silly cartoon character" electronic device to see if he can get on television. And the police are going to respond to it appropriately, as they did on Wednesday.
Scapegoats? Yeah. Those two guys are being hung out to dry. It's not good for them. Who did it? They were hung out to dry around 1:25, when the rep from the marketing company told them to shut up about it, when he told them to go along with what had become a bomb scare, because, after all, he was paying them 300 bucks, right? Mr. Sam Ewen of Interference hung those two guys out to dry, because he's a CEO, and he thinks he's untouchable. Who cares if they go down to Walpole? They're just the schmucks he hired to do his dirty work. Put them on TV, let them act like asses and piss people off even more. Draw the lightning. Mr. Sam Ewen can just hide out until it's over, and pretend it was never his problem. He, and Turner Broadcasting, can laugh all the way to the bank, while Berdovsky and Stevens realize they aren't going to be laughing much for the next few years.
Did Mayor Menino hang those guys out to dry? No, he just did his job. Part of his job is protecting Boston, and he does a damn good job. Richard A. Clarke says so, and I agree with him. Right now, an unfortunate part of Menino's job is going to be to throw the book at those guys, because otherwise it might be less funny next time. This time, nobody got hurt. We don't want a next time.